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Friendship


I had not a whole heck of a lot to post tonight to be perfectly honest.

However, if I am going to maintain my Post A Day 2011 I have to post something tonight.

So I have decided to get very personal.

If you follow my twitter account you may have seen my response to the #IfICouldTalkToAnyone hashtag started by Wind Mobile. If you didn’t see it the reply was that it would be a guy (and I named both of his Twitter handles) “…who was 1 of my best friends & now hates me & wont talk to me & I dunno know why“. Although other people had replied to the topic/hashtag with mostly celebrities or famous people and some with joking and ridiculous answers I put a lot of thought into my answer and that was honestly the most important person I could think of who I would like to have a conversation with.

Two days later, he answered me via Twitter. He hurled insults at me and called me “thick” for not knowing why he despises me so much. I truly do not know why he does and would not have written that tweet or this post if I did.

It is sad that this individual refuses to talk to me and seems to enjoy hating me so much. We were like brothers for about a decade. Maybe this is just a family squabble and one day we will be friends again. I personally believe that most people do not endeavor to be jerks and often when we think people are jerks their actions are merely being misinterpreted and misunderstood. I think we need more understanding of each other in the world and more rational, logical, unemotional discussion that leaves ego by the wayside. Sometimes we may need an intermediary to accomplish this but in general life is too short, in my opinion, for fights between friends of this nature.

In case you are wondering, the answer is no to any of the usual questions that might anger a friend with another. I didn’t steal his girlfriend. I didn’t embarrass him in public. I didn’t screw him out of money.

The only thing I can think of is that I did say something via BBM that he took serious insult to (and I didn’t expect such a serious reaction to it) but I apologized to him the next day when he called me about it. This last thing was about a year ago. If that is what this is all about I am truly sorry. I am apologizing in public. I am truly sorry. If I ever thought you would take that comment so seriously and we would be in this position a year later I wouldn’t have said it. It was a joke. It wasn’t a personal attack and it was not meant to be that serious. I said it then and I will say it again, beyond apologizing for my joke there is nothing more than I can do.

Life is too short to throw away a decade’s worth of friendship like that in my opinion. I am considering other options as to how I should deal with this situation and attempt to rectify it although friends have told me it isn’t worth my energy. I disagree with that and think there’s a way we can work things out if he would only speak to me calmly and without being verbally abusive towards me.

Do you have any friendships that ended which you wish you could repair? Have you repaired any friendships that fell on hard times? How did you do it?

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  1. Rafal
    January 30, 2011 at 1:21 am

    Yup, been there in a similar situation. And its not worth reconciling. As in life, it takes two to make things work. If the other person is unwilling, then its just a waste of time and energy for you. In my case, I know what I did, it should not have been a big or any deal whatsoever. I tried to apologize and re-establish contact with no luck and at that point I just never wanted to see or talk to him again. Why? Cause I was wronged and left out in some situations (near the end) withought barely a regard, but was willing to overlook due to our years of friendship. So I decided, if I was going to be treated unfairly, then its time to kick a friend-no-more to the curb for good. And good riddance!!

    • January 30, 2011 at 1:41 am

      That sucks that something similar happened to you. I still have hope for me and the gentleman mentioned above though!

  2. Nobody
    January 31, 2011 at 8:18 pm

    …….

    • January 31, 2011 at 11:16 pm

      I would love to know what this comment means. Please expound upon it further.

  3. danah
    March 18, 2011 at 10:15 pm

    I have the same issue with someone I have been friends with since I was 6. We were best friends until 15 but I screwed up by leaving her out when I started dating my first serious boyfriend. She never forgave me and now she doesn’t speak to me. When I moved to Ottawa in 2007 I had tried to make plans with her before I left since I was concerned that we might not see each other she told me that I could come over if I wanted but “heroes” was on and she was watching that so I might as well not bother. It really hurt. Other than my screw up at 15 I was always there for her. I gave her places to live if she needed them temp, I would help her if needed, I made sure I was there for all important events. To have her just not care that I was moving and might not be coming back really hurt. I didn’t talk to her until last year when I tried a peace offering birthday gift which I thought was touching and clever. She did not even acknowledge I gave it to her. She did come to my grandmother’s funeral but I have not heard from her since. It is really sad but I guess I really should let go since she is not giving me any sign that she cares to remain friends.

  1. January 31, 2011 at 9:58 pm
  2. March 17, 2011 at 9:34 pm

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