Home > Life, The Universe, & Everything > Dogs: I Love Them But Don’t Know If I Can Ever Own One

Dogs: I Love Them But Don’t Know If I Can Ever Own One

My friends' dog, Pete the Pug chilling in the backyard drinking a brew and wearing shades because it's so sunny out.

Dogs. As I said in the post title, I love them. I have seen friends and just random people with their dogs and how much they love them and enjoy playing with them and I agree that pets in general are awesome to have. However, also as I said above, I don’t think I could ever own a dog. Why? you ask. Well the answer is pretty basic and simple and to some very amusing: cleaning up after them when they go on a walk. Ya, using a plastic bag to do the clean up after a dog does what it needs to do is what prevents me from wanting to get one.

You may be laughing about this and you may agree with me. You may be saying, “Well, just get a Pooper Scooper and then you’re good to go!” Well who’s going to clean up that Popper Scooper? You? I certainly don’t want to!

I have theories as to why I am so not into the idea of it and one of them has largely to do with as a kid never having a pet like a dog where one has to deal with cleaning up after it or cleaning its cage (for smaller animals). I think because I never got acclimated to the idea of it in my younger years is what prevents me from wanting to even consider doing it now.

Some people have asked me, “OK, well what about when/if you have kids? You’ll have to deal with diapers and changing them!” Well, I have considered that and I don’t think I’ll have an issue with it…don’t ask me to explain why because I can’t.

The Klout Fail Puppy


Of course, this isn’t a categorical refusal to ever do it or own a dog because of this. Lots of things I thought I’d never do or never want to do I have done and do want to do now so people can change their mentality. This is just my feeling right now.

I do have a couple of solutions to my problem, one that I have come up with on my own and one that someone told me about recently.

  1. I get a farm or live somewhere with a huge backyard where I can let my dog roam free in a section of it. It can do its business in this section and I never have to worry about dealing with the cleanup. A gardener or landscaper might even do it for me which leads me to option two.
  2. I hire someone to walk my dog or cleanup after it in that area. There are apparently people who do this I found out, much to my surprise, recently. I could totally do that.

Penny the not even a year old mastiff, isn't she adorable...and huge!

However, even these 2 options I don’t think are very good solutions. A dog, in my mind, is a responsibility. As well, judging it from the outside perspective, I am fairly certain that part of the bond built with the dog is taking care of it. Not the actual cleaning aspect but being the one who takes care of it and takes it out for walks. I think that is a huge part of the relationship building between owner(s) and dogs and wouldn’t want to not have a full relationship with my dog if I had one.

What’s really funny (to me) is I told a friend of mine about this recently and she laughed at me about it. She laughed and joked about it until I called her out on it and said, “OK, would want to do it?” She replied, vehemently, “No”. (Don’t worry, I’m not calling you out on this but you know who you are!)

Lots of dogs are cute and very lovable I agree but this is one aspect I don’t know that I can really get over. Maybe someday I will.

Readers: Anyone with me on this? Anyone who ever thought the same as me and now has changed their tune? Let me know!

  1. Jeff
    April 8, 2011 at 12:35 am

    I completely agree!

    My brother recently got a new puppy. It’s such a fun little thing to play with, so full of energy and loves everyone. It’s not quite potty trained yet though. Just the other day I was at his house sitting on the couch watching some tv while he was taking a shower and doing a few things. Well, that damn cute little puppy went and took a crap right in front of the tv, looking right at me as he did his thing on the bro’s new carpet. Being the nice brother I am I went and grabbed about a half a roll of tp to picked up the dog’s poop. It was all warm and soft, just like you’d imagine it is. I was gagging and trying to hold it as far away as possible, holding my beath, as I walked to the bathroom to flush it. Well as I dropped it into the toliet I ended up puking right on top of it. It was probably the first time I’ve thrown up since I was like 4 (not counting when I’ve had too much to drink).

    Moral of the story, never again will I do that! I won’t ever own a dog because of it, I couldn’t imagine doing that each and everyday with a plastic bag while taking the dog for a walk. My brother luckily has a big back yard, and a stronger stomach than me.

    As for having kids, I imagine that is easier since I most likely won’t have to touch the kids crap, and it’s actually another person. I do know though that I need to find a woman who can deal with that kind of stuff, but if she let’s me put a baby in her than she most likely is a strong woman in the first place.

    I’m with you though Dan, just go over to a friends place when you want to play with a dog, then give it back when you’re done with it 🙂

    • April 8, 2011 at 1:24 am

      Jeff, all I can say to that story is – Yeeeeeech!

      I really don’t even want to think about it and I considered putting that kind of description in the original article (basing it on assumption not firsthand knowledge thankfully) and decided against it. I don’t know if I should say I’m glad you did or not but I think I am. I have no problem with the content just the mental imagery/sensation I don’t want to be dwelling on! (Part of the reason I didn’t write about it lol)

      I probably would have called my brother if I was in that situation…if it happened on carpet and he didn’t scotch guard and cant be bothered to get out of the shower or come clean it up immediately it is his dog & therefore his problem. He knew what he was getting into when he adopted it.

  2. Danah Ashcroft
    April 8, 2011 at 10:09 am

    I think your nevering having pets growing up arguement is interesting as I am the opposite. I never had pets growing up so the momment I could have pets I did. (well partial lie, i had pets that i snuck into the house periodically) I think some people just are not pet people regardless of how they grew up. You live a busy life pets maybe do not fit in the equation?
    Picking up after them sucks too i agree on that.

    • April 8, 2011 at 10:11 pm

      Oh, I had pets…just they were all fish except for the painter turtle & African frog I had (at different times)…no bigger pets though.

      And I like the idea of having a pet like a dog I just wouldn’t want to have clean up after it does its business! That’s the only issue.

  3. Jessica Kadoche
    April 8, 2011 at 10:52 am

    I’m completely on the same page as you when it comes to owning a dog and just not wanting to have to deal with cleaning up after it. The walking I don’t mind as much (ask me again in the winter though) My sister at one time was traveling a lot so she ended up leaving her dog with us for a few months to look after him…..poor puppy , we ended up training it to walk it self! that’s right we opened the front door , it walked around the block a few times and came home. hahaha
    I don’t think I’m cut out for it!

    • April 8, 2011 at 10:13 pm

      LOL, Jessica that’s actually hilarious…but while I could do something like that I think your neighbors might have gotten annoyed if it was a regular thing and piles of dog ‘leavings’ were scattered about the block from the dog doing his/her business in the area day in and day out for more than just a short period of time (like when you watched your sisters dog). Eventually people would catch on and be ANNOYED.
      I hate cold but I think for my pet I would deal with it (or move somewhere warmer before I got a pet! WIN) it’s, again, the dealing with the leavings that bothers me.

  4. danah
    April 9, 2011 at 12:06 pm

    I never had large pets either i could sneak in fish, turtles, guinea pigs etc.

    I am was also not a fan of picking up after animals but then i did it for a living for a period of time when i was a zoo keeper. You get over it.

  5. March 27, 2013 at 12:44 am

    I enjoyed your article. Until you do get a dog you`ll never understand how you could have ever lived without them. Our dogs deserve so much of our love because they are always so loyal and loving (even if they don’t always listen & obey). I was reading an interesting news story http://www.cbc.ca/news/yourcommunity/2013/03/chihuahua-helps-thwart-pitbull-attack-on-bc-girl.html about a little girl that was saved from a Pitt Bull attack by her little Chihuahua and other fearless acts of love by our pets.

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